Melancholy

I stayed up late last night. I woke up this morning at about 11. Tossed and turned until 1. I didnt want to get up. Wanted to stay in bed. Never want to get up. To get up is to face the future. I get down sometimes on that facet of reality. I feel that I am at a crossroads. Today is the last day I am in woodbridge before leaving tomorrow morning for santa cruz. Last time I was here for winter break I didnt return until the next fall. The reality hits me--I will be spending more time in santa cruz than I will be down here. And after Santa Cruz I am supposed to what? Live on my own? Start my career? Start my adult life? Shit. I have been told that I don't have to know what I want to do until later. I feel like later has come and its time to make a choice. I have to declare a major sooner than later. Which major I choose is a major determinant to what path I walk in life. Some of my other friends have it either figured out or are just apathetic to the idea of growing up. Honestly I cant see myself not coming back home after college. I dont want to grow up.